Update Four: The Birth
Voila! In your hands (or computer) is Update #4, appropriately named “The
Birth,” because it is official! Our lives have changed. We are not the
same Besser family who left for Europe three months ago. We are officially
parents! Yikes! Be afraid! Professor Dr. Hubinont (Belgians love titles!)
decided to induce labor at 8:15am (Central Europe time) at Universitaire
Clinique Saint-Luc in the commune of Woluwe, Brussels, Belgium. After ten
hours of hard labor, Kathy was not dilating, in a hell of a lot of pain,
and not winning at cards with the Nursing Staff. So a Cesarean section was
deemed necessary, bringing August Dane Besser into the world at 6:15pm. It
was a tough start for the kid, actually, as his head was wedged into
Kathy’s pelvis so tightly that it required three doctors’ efforts and 4
minutes to extract him. He also had a little trouble breathing for about
15 minutes, but then he was just fine. Kathy and baby are both fine in
fact. Thank goodness Kathy’s mom, Patti, was there with us. We relied on
her delivery room nursing experience to know what card games to play and
that Kathy needed a C-section in a hurry. We knew we were in good hands
when we noticed that the operating room had the machine that goes “BING!”
(Those of you who have seen Monty Python’s “The Meaning of Life” will
understand this obscure reference.)
We stayed in the hospital for a week. Notice the verb – stayed – I did not
say that we slept there – that would be lying. I was on the floor and
Kathy was in a bed, but neither of us really slept. And it was time for
Paul to understand some things about pregnancy and babies. Like, when a
pregnant woman walks around, a gentle swaying motion is created in the
womb, and the baby sleeps. At night, when she is still, the baby is awake.
We are learning that the transition from sleeping during the day to
sleeping at night is a slow process! But we are all learning about each
other, and it is great. He is a good kid. He is not that fussy and is
recovering well from when I dropped him (just kidding). The hospital was
great – a much better post-natal experience than we would have had in the
U.S., we think. The nurses and doctors were very attentive. An example of
this was the second night at 3:30am, when we were struggling to get Dane
to latch on. A nurse appeared out of nowhere, grabbed Kathy’s breast,
grabbed Dane’s head, stuffed the former into the latter’s mouth, massaged
the former for a few minutes, issued the obligatory Voila!, then turned
and was gone in a flash! C’est magnifique!
The Belgians believe in having the mother and child stay for a week –
standard. So when you leave the hospital, the mother is relatively rested,
mother and child are in somewhat of a routine, the milk has come in, the
baby has learned to latch on, the cord maintenance is complete, and the
father has been repeatedly tested by three shifts of nurses on his ability
to change a diaper and bathe a baby. A bonus feature of the hospital was
the fact that they had TV and Cable! Yowza! I got to watch two X-Files
episodes back-to-back without commercials and Beavis and Butthead on MTV,
undubbed, every night.
The front runner for Dane’s nickname is Squeaky. He continually lets out
little cries and squeaks while sleeping or being picked up or while
sucking on my pinky (sometimes the only way other than a nipple to get him
to relax when he is tense). He has (relatively) long reddish-blond hair
and dark blue eyes. I am told that he looks like me (now called Daddy) but
my hairline is not nearly as receded and he fortunately does not have the
dreaded Besser chin…. yet. He loves baths. Well, he loves floating in
bathwater, at least. He is totally calm while immersed. He knows us both
by voice and smell, and allows us to calm him. He repeatedly falls asleep
on my chest or in Kathy’s arms. Scary aspect about Dane – he is a gas
machine – easy to burp and plenty of “boopses.” We, the parental units,
just love the little guy – he is pretty damn cute, and definitely lovable.
Especially after a visit to Kathy the Chuck Wagon! He runs through a
series of involuntary facial expressions that Kathy affectionately calls
“facial gymnastics,” whereas each limb is completely relaxed.
Now, of course, Kathy and Dane are home, and Kathy’s parents have returned
to Sacramento. It was great to have them. They were so helpful. Patti and
I were Team Delivery, supporting Kathy throughout the birth, together. And
Patti and Paul are so low maintenance. We are sorry to see them go. Kathy
is doing extremely well. She has shined through this experience and is an
inspiration. She accepted the challenge of childbirth, faced it with her
head held high, and graciously kicked its ass!
I would like to thank all of you for your support. We have received an
outpouring of congratulations over the last two weeks. Patti and Paul
Holland were there in whatever capacity we needed them. Also, both IMEC
and AMD sent beautiful floral arrangements, and our new American friends
in Belgium, Laura and Joe, came by every day to help us get started. And
so many of you have called or written emails or sent cards to congratulate
us. Thanks. We look forward to seeing y’all in early September!