Late. Overdue. This update. So late that Kathy has started sending out
brief updates while I was on a literary sabbatical. [Kathy: Mostly about
the boys; our second son, Tate, arrived the same day as the minivan for
those of you who were wondering.] Worry no more. Update #5 is in your hot
little box of a PC or Mac, sitting as ones and zeros, transformed by some
software package, and in front of you for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!
And send us an update on your adventures!

Moved. Officially moved. 3407 Rosefinch Trail. This is our new address in
Austin – but you most likely knew this. We moved in at the end of March.
Our previous (psycho) landlord was dumped by her Bubba fiancé and wanted
her house back. The first few weeks were tough, since the kitchen was
being remodeled, but we are settling in now. I am happy to report that
there is only one box that has yet to be unpacked – a personal best! That
is the good news. The bad news is that the box in question is kept in the
garage and will not be opened till Christmas. Perhaps I should explain a
little, with some background. See when we rented the house we knew that it
was smaller than our house in CA as well as our first house in TX. We
figured that two things compensated for the lack of floor space – location
and location. The house is right across the street from our daycare
provider – Carrie. Starbuck’s, Amy’s Ice Cream, a grocery store and
lots of other shops and restaurants are within walking distance. The
street is quiet. The lot backs into one of those things Texans call a
creek [Translation, when it rains 4 inches in 4 hours (common occurrence
here), it is a raging river- otherwise it is dry]. Lots of wildlife are
supported by this “creek”. Dane and I have watched the deer walk
through our backyard (and picked up the accompanying deer pellets) and
have seen lots of birds (blue jays and cardinals are common). The
drawbacks to the house – small and overgrown yard, small floor plan, poor
lighting, and located 20’ below street level – are not so bad.

We have spent lots of time on the front yard, with the help of Kathy’s
parents. We cut back some plants that have probably not been pruned in 15
years. We also planted flowering annuals (lantana, Mexican heather,
geraniums and gardenias), and added mulch and a stone border. After these
projects and after killing the monster weeds in the yard, the place
actually looks presentable. We have tried to compensate for the poor
interior lighting by painting some rooms bright white and by remodeling
the kitchen. This worked well. But trying to compensate for the lack of
floor space by turning the garage into a play area was a bad idea. It
worked well for the first month. But as the temperature crept into the
90s, the play area officially turned into a sauna! It is now our little
time capsule and is off-limits until November! We have converted the
dining room into a play area for the kids and only send them to the garage
when they are bad! Oh well, it is only for a year, then we will likely go
back to our own house in Sunnyvale.

Crawling and crazy. Officially. TATE. He is crawling in his unique way.
His left leg remains straight, which is convenient when he wants to sit up
after a short crawling distance but it is funny to watch. He looks like a
wounded soldier because he kind of crawls with his right leg, then swings
his straight, left leg over and crawls again with his right leg.
Entertaining to say the least. He also has some cute sounds right now. He
is not talking yet (he is just 9 months old) but he has a cute scream that
we swear sounds like a baby Pterodactyl. He also has an affinity for
destroying the train villages that Dane creates. He storms in like
Godzilla and starts ripping up track and going savage on it with his 6
little teeth. So we started calling him “Tatezilla.” Tate is a great
kid. Even the other weekend when he had a double ear infection, a cold,
and hives from an allergic reaction to the 3rd antibiotic, he was still
not THAT fussy. But he is picky. He has weaned himself off creamed baby
food and wants to eat what we eat. Now he is already weaning himself off
formula.

Three years old. This June. And changing all the time. DANE. What a
fun-loving kid, and a great big brother. He is awesome and great with Tate
for the most part. He has had some fun experiences recently. He loved a
day alone with Daddy at the Texas State Fair and Rodeo. The rodeo was lost
on him, simply because it was slow moving and late in the evening. But the
fair was a big hit. Dane got to see cows, goats, horses, chickens, bulls,
pigs, deer, llama and more. He was laughing so hard when he actually heard
a real heifer moooo! He just cracked up and pointed and laughed some more!
Same thing when the sheep went baaaa! And of course the farmers were
laughing at him. Dane also got to climb on some huge farm loaders,
tractors, and combine harvesters! He pet lots of animals at the petting
zoo and laughed at the nursing piglets. He was licked by a snake, and best
of all, he held a 3-foot baby alligator! No kidding! After the alligator
demonstration show, kids got to hold a baby alligator and have a picture
taken. Dane bravely held this gator for 5 minutes while the guy tried
unsuccessfully to take an instamatic picture. He was so brave and talked
about his experience for a few days. That is one thing neat about being in
Texas. You get to do some things that litigation-happy California would
not allow, such as climbing all over huge pieces of farm equipment,
holding baby alligators and boa constrictors, and a crawling around Bevo
the longhorn!

Visitors. Lots of them. Kathy’s parents; Brian and Ed; Dave and C.C.;
Todd; Brett, Larisa and Aiden; Corinne; Jeff, Lori, David and Justin; the
Petersons; Winston and Millie; and more. These visitors make the time fly
by. Plus it is a great opportunity to show off our favorite Austin digs.
Coupled with all of the traveling by Paul along with Besser family trips
to Sacramento (Kathy’s family) and Maryland (Paul’s family which
included a bonus visit to the Air and Space Museum – heaven for Dane!)
has kept us quite busy over the past 8 months. Oh yeah, and 2 kids fill
any spare time we have!

Working maniac. KATHY. New clients abound and work is challenging. But she
loves it. We both struggle with balancing careers, health and kids, but
Kathy is better at multitasking than I. She is doing lots of reading, too.
Books appear at the house on child development, religion, and history all
the time. I don’t know where she finds the time! We both have found lots
of insight from one book in particular- “Raising Cain.”

25 pounds lighter. And much happier. ME. Since Jan. 1, 2000. The weight
was lost through a low carb diet and lots of exercise. I did the Lance
Armstrong Ride for the Roses (100-mile ride) in April. It was a lot of
fun. As preparation for that ride, I rode about 150 miles per week, but I
have cut back to <100 now. I usually ride at lunch two days per week with
3 other Motorolans, but it is getting tougher to ride in > 90° weather at
lunch, shower, return to my desk and actually cool off. I’ll probably
switch to early morning rides. As part of the RftR, there was a downtown
criterium the day before. Dane really enjoyed it. He especially enjoyed
routing for Stacy, a pro women’s rider I met in the Rosedale Ride – a
100km race benefiting handicapped kids that I also did. Stacy and I were
part of a paceline of 6 riders. At the time, I knew she was strong, but
not a CAT-2 racer!

Decided. Mark down the date. Memorial Day, 2000. I have made THE decision.
Contemplation took 5 years. It started with marriage, then the addition of
a dog, then kids, two kids. All were sewing the seeds. I fought back with
my Ford Probe GT, a Honda 650 Nighthawk, and finally a Ducati 750SS. About
a year ago, on the day the moving truck was taking us to Texas, I sold the
Ducati. No regrets. Five months later went the sports car. Replaced both
with a Minivan and a second child. Don’t get me wrong, I DO love the
minivan and would not trade fatherhood for anything, but I am now
preoccupied with my mid-life crisis. I know it will hit me hard. Too much
change in too little time. So I spend my drives to and from work listening
to NPR and looking at cars for my mid-life crisis. Yeah, I guess I have
pretty much settled on a car over an affair… I figure the car will last
longer and give me more satisfaction over the long run! I favor the sports
car variety. My brother-in-law already bought a Defender (a jeep on
steroids) – which would be the SUV of my mid-life crisis. I like the
Mustang Cobra convertible and the new Camaro SS, and periodically I see a
new Carrera turbo or a Corvette (they are just too expensive!). Then there
are the late model muscle cars that are always beautiful.

But I think I have made my decision – or at least narrowed the field a
bit. See, my friend Chris has two bikes and he needed someone to take one
around the block with him. “I only ride the new one, and the other is
just not getting any exercise,” he says. I guess you could call 145
miles “around the block” to stretch its legs (this is Texas after
all). Just my luck that they are both Harleys. ? Mine happened to be the
1998 Fat Boy – 95th Anniversary edition. And the bike is in its prime –
broken in nicely, LOTS of added chrome, and leather all around. All we had
to do was remove the windshield, and Ahh, that is the feel that I need. I
had seen many a Harley in my life. I grew up in a town with a Harley
factory. Most of my cousins and even one Aunt worked for Harley Davidson.
I went to the museum, toured the plant, had an H-D key chain, watched the
Harleys race at Laguna Seca, etc, etc. But I never experienced one – ever.

Surprisingly, not a lot of people are willing to let you take one out for
a spin. It would be like a friend asking you to baby sit his Porsche while
he is out of town. Just does not happen often. Anyway, my favorite Harley
has ALWAYS been the Fat boy. I love the look, the power, the SOUND. You
can guess that I was just a little excited for this ride. Even with all
this excitement, the ride lived up to it in spades! A Harley is so
different from a Ducati. I mean it is obvious by the physical differences
in appearance, stigma, speed, cornering, wheelies, etc. But what captured
me was the mental difference. On a sport bike, you are always carving
corners, picking lines, anticipating, passing cars at any chance, jumping
on the throttle, and in general, pushing the envelope. The Harley is fast,
sure, but you can’t corner it like a Duc. Nor does it want to. The first
corner I leaned into produced sparks as I drug the muffler around the
corner and put me in my place. My mental place. I could hear the bike
telling me, “Besser, you may think so, but you are not Arnold in the
Terminator! RELAX, man!” No wonder Harley tried to patent the sound of
the engine. It is downright therapeutic to be on this bike.

So you slow yourself down, enjoy the view of the sky reflecting in the
chrome headlight, smell the fresh cut alfalfa in this field, the corn in
that field, and the dark musty smell of a creek area, and feel the air
rushing in your face. Let the sights and sounds take you back to some lost
memory from your past. Therapeutic is the first word that came to mind. I
enjoyed riding at 40 mph more than 60. I was enjoying the ride, not
thinking about where I had to be or when. We rode along the rolling vistas
of the Texas hill country, a section along the Guadalupe River and lots of
two lane roads. About 2/3 of the way into this long ride I realized that
this just might be my mid-life crisis toy. So what I really need to know
is – when is mid-life? The average life expectancy is only 70 years. So I
am wondering why most men wait until they are 50 to have a mid-life
crisis. 35 is looking pretty good to me! Why not get a nice toy when you
are young enough to enjoy it? So if you know of anyone fresh out of gift
ideas for my 35th this year, send them an H-D catalog on my behalf!

We will close by mentioning Dane’s 3rd birthday party. He had 2 cakes –
one at daycare and one at the Holland’s house. He requested a pink
birthday cake with construction vehicles and a giant bulldozer (present).
He had a wonderful day! We hope that you, too, have a wonderful day!

[Editor’s Note: We moved back to California in April 2001 and promptly
left for a 5-week trip to Italy in celebration of Paul’s first paid
sabbatical.]

Well, my transformation to father is nearly complete. I am not necessarily
transforming into MY father, but into our pop culture’s icon of a father.
The transformation began the day we left California. In California, I had
a wife, a child, a Ducati 750SS motorcycle with carbon-fiber pipes and a
sports car. It was the best of both worlds. I still had the bachelor’s
motorcycle and sports car, yet I was married and had a child and a
mortgage payment. Yin and Yang were in peaceful co-existence. But Texas
has changed everything. On the day we moved, as the moving van was loading
the sport’s car onto the truck, I sold the motorcycle. After being in
Texas for a while and seeing how aggressively Texans drive, I am still
convinced that this was a good move and have no regrets about ditching the
Duc. However, with all these SUV’s and pick-up trucks on the roads in
Texas, I cannot see anywhere. I’ve got vans, trucks and SUV’s all around
me. So, I am selling my car. A car that could drive under most of the
vehicles in this state. Bye, bye, Probe GT. You were a fun car to drive.
You were my gift to myself when I finished the 22nd grade (i.e. grad
school). You could take 90-degree turns at 50 mph and laugh. You needed 5
radiators in 5 years. But all good things must come to an end, and you, my
friend, are officially for sale.

We have ordered a new car. Ordered is the operative word. This particular
car is in such high demand that it is not even in stock. And dealers
expect you to buy it without a test-drive! The scary part is that a TON of
people are doing it! The car has a 6-month waiting list here in Austin.
(In California not only do they have a long waiting list, they sell for
almost $5,000 over MSRP.) So I did what I had to do to get a deal. I went
to a town 80 miles away that has one McDonalds and no Wal-Marts to find a
dealer who had one in stock (for test-driving) and had an earlier delivery
date than January, 2000 on new ones. Actually, Kathy and the car have the
same due date – end of August. It is beige, has 210 horsepower and the
same engine as the Acura TL. It is a minivan, the Honda Odyssey EX. Yes, a
minivan. We thought about an SUV, but I really like the extra room in the
van and the easy access. Yep, I can justify purchasing it all I want, but
it is still a minivan – no matter how you slice it. We might nickname it
Homer. As in, “OK, let’s take Homer to Uncle Dave’s house.” Maybe we won’t
take ourselves so seriously if we name it after Mr. Simpson and his
worldwide sail. Alas, I will now drive a minivan, just in time for my 34th
birthday. It is only time before I take orders from a two-year old!

BTW, don’t give Kathy any grief on this one. She did not want a minivan.
She thinks they are pretty unattractive. And she is right. She did not
force me to surrender all of my testosterone. She actually encouraged me
to get an SUV. They also sit up high and have lots of room. However, I am
viewing this minivan as a combination car and pick-up. The rear seat folds
out of the way with just one motion, giving me the room to haul stuff for
a change. Plenty of room to put the big stuff. The only problem I foresee
with this minivan is that it has 2 sliding doors. So where IS one supposed
to put a gun rack?

Dane has a new phrase. “Don’t do that, Daddy.” It seems like a pretty
appropriate phrase, considering the minivan purchase. My prophetic son has
a message for me before it is too late. His commentary on my life is
accompanied with a shake of his little head, a push of my face out of the
way, and a look to Mommy for support. He whips out this phrase when I am
tickling him, if he is irritable, or if I am just plain in his face.
Sometimes he uses it just because he can, even though he is laughing
hysterically all the while. Aaahhh, the transformation is almost complete.
With a little effort, I can gain some extra weight, start watching more
TV, stop exercising, and become complacent. I could become Kathy’s dream
man (.NOT) and blame the whole mess on Texas. The seeds of mid-life crisis
are sewn, watered, fertilized, and under an intense heat lamp in the
Besser Family. The only thing left is to rip them out of the ground like
the weeds they are! This can be done with a few conversion kits: make the
van a low-rider, install a killer sound system (already in the works),
fuzzy dice (already bought), install some drapes, and, of course,
strategically place a bumper sticker proclaiming “If this van’s a rockin’,
don’t come a knockin’.” If anyone has such a bumper sticker, let me know!
That’s all for now. Write back soon (hint, hint)…

Something very special happened during this lengthy time between updates.
Dane turned two! This was not without a party, of course, thrown at his
current favorite park – Zilker, along with 15 adults and 15 kids. It was a
great learning experience for Kathy and I, actually. We learned a lot
about throwing a party in Texas. 100% of the invitees called to say
whether or not they would be there and 95% of those who RSVP’d showed up.
In California, you can bet that only 60% of invitees will acknowledge an
invitation. As far as showing up is concerned, only 70% of those who RSVP
will be there and 30% of those who did not will come anyway.

So it was a good party. And turning two brought a new word to Dane’s
vocabulary, almost to the day he turned two. “MINE.” Yes, Dane learned the
possessive pronoun from Hell! Dane now practices this word regularly. We
figured it seemed a rather appropriate vocabulary addition for a two-year
old.

Actually, Dane had two parties in honor of turning two – the first one
when we visited the Bay Area and Sacramento on Memorial Day weekend. I was
teaching a class that week, so we made it a long weekend and visited
Kathy’s family. Her sister, Lori, bought a cake, and, incredibly, Dane
blushed as we sang to him. We had a great time visiting the Train Museum,
attending the Sacramento Jazz Festival, and boating on the American River,
at least until Kathy christened the new family boat by going on the wrong
side of a buoy and trashing the propeller! Dane loved boating though. He
wore his life preserver and sunglasses, referring to himself as
“Hollywood.”

We returned from CA with a fresh, cynical attitude on TX, which is really
proving to be a necessity. All the neighbors were worried while we were
gone. We should let them know when we are away so that they don’t worry
and so that they can keep an eye on the house. Odd though, from that
comment, it seems to me like they kept a pretty close eye on the place
even though we did not tell them we were going away. Hmmm. This “neighbor”
concept they have in TX is rather curious to me. Neighbors who you know
and see on a regular basis take a little getting used to. Neighbors who
invite you over for dinner. Neighbors who have a cul-de-sac BBQ to welcome
the new faces. Neighbors who say you can stop by anytime, and mean it.
Neighbors who tell your landlord that she is being a jerk, so that you
don’t have to. Neighbors who buy toys specifically so Dane will have
something to play with when he visits their house, even though their own
kids are in college. And just why would they leave their doors unlocked at
night? Hmmm. Let’s just say that, as curious as we are about this
“neighbor” concept in TX, it is a welcome change from CA.

Now that the real summer is arriving in TX (as evidenced by some
roof-rattling thunderstorms and temperatures in the high 90s), we have
begun the annual migration native to this part of the country. We go in
search of water sports! Look for us on the Discovery Channel next month
right after the story of the lions of the Serengeti. Water sports are the
only way to stay cool. Barton Springs at Zilker Park, which is fed by a
natural spring, is a great place to go in the evening or on a Saturday
morning, but the neighborhood pool is proving its worth as well. There is
a play area for kids that has shallow water, but Dane doesn’t like it. He
wants to be with the big kids, in the deep water. He runs full speed and
jumps off the side of the pool to Daddy, only to climb out and do it all
over again. He has absolutely no fear. He sticks his head under water and
will jump off any ledge into the water. We went to New Braunfels recently,
where you can do a slow float down a crystal clear river OR go to
Schlitterbahn, a water park that is all the rage of my co-workers. We also
bought Dane a little baby pool, a must-have for any child who is part fish
and any woman who is in her third trimester. They have one at daycare,
too, and Dane spends hours a day in there. You should see the tan he is
developing on his little arms and legs! Dane and Kathy have started swim
lessons, too. We can relax a little at the pool once Kathy learns to swim
properly. It is such a shame to hold Dane back for her though.

We must say, however, that the best water park to-date has been Sea World
in San Antonio! You can walk through the aquarium and even pet the
dolphins. Hell, I bet you could swim with them, too, but it was not a
park-sanctioned activity and as such may be cut short by the trainers.
Dane had a great time screaming “Shamu” over and over as the killer whales
performed in Shamu Stadium. But, since the park is in hot-as-hell Texas,
the best part is the wave pool and beach! We spent longer there than any
other area – riding the waves and staying cool!

We have even gone as far as 230 miles just for water. In this case,
unfortunately, disappointment came along for the ride. Now, for those of
you from TX, I am about to piss you off (again). You are duly forewarned
and thus can skip this section.. Corpus Christi is a dump. It is supposed
to be one of “the” places along the South Texas coast to go to the beach.
I am sorry, but it is only exciting if you think a trailer park is a “hip”
place to live. We visited the Bay, the beach, the aquarium, our hotel
pool, and some good restaurants. All of it was incredibly mediocre. To
CC’s credit, maybe it was the hype. You think, Gulf of Mexico, warm water,
beautiful sand, resorts, a place to get a descent pina colada or
margarita, a boardwalk, etc. But even though the water is warm, it is
decidedly NOT clear and everything else is just a myth. The place is a
bunch of run-down hotels on the stinky water’s edge. We did find one neat
thing, however. The Texas State aquarium has a great display of jellyfish.
But there are only 8 small tanks and some colored lights. It is nothing,
however, compared to the aquariums in Monterey or Baltimore. Even Sea
World has a nicer aquarium than the one representing the State of Texas!
So, if you ever get a chance to go to CC, save your time and energy and go
to Florida or NC or MD or Delaware. All of these places have nicer beaches
and feel like real towns rather than a write-off for the oil industry
banks.

[*Note from Kathy: This title refers to the fact that Texans consistently
mangle other languages, particularly Spanish – for instance, “Man-chack”
instead of Manchaca, “Blank-o” instead of blanco. It drove me (a long-time
Spanish and French speaker) almost bat-shit CRAZY.]

When we first agreed to move to Texas, my wife jokingly suggested that I
was taking her away from her family and friends in California to another
foreign country to give birth This was a not-so-subtle reference to our
6-month Belgium assignment where Dane was born (in Brussels). I have now
concluded that her statement is closer to the truth than I originally
thought!

The other day I was invited to a lunch with a director at SEMATECH, who is
also a Motorolan. Having lunch offsite at Motorola is quite an adventure,
because no good restaurants with fully clothed women are located within 20
minutes of Motorola. So lunch is expected to be a 1.5-hour affair if you
go off-site. This lunch was held at this very famous plantation house that
is now a restaurant. It is a beautiful restaurant in the middle of a poor
neighborhood. The house is authentic and posh, although very simply
decorated, on a large plot of land. It has a large porch and stately old
oaks and magnolias, as well as peacocks running wild around the premises.
The food is very expensive and very good.

But two things just slapped me in the face with the reminder that I am not
in Kansas (California) any more, Toto. The first was the incredibly slow
pace. There appeared to be only one waitress and one manager for the
entire restaurant. And even though we were the only diners present, they
were quite content to take our order when they felt the urge. This was a
restaurant in the South where lunch proceeded at a slow, relaxed pace.
However, this particular restaurant annoyed even those at the table who
were from Texas. And even though Austin is now the 18th largest city in
the U.S., one of the fastest growing cities in America, and a technology
development center for integrated circuits, it is still the South and
things are sometimes different here. It reminded me of when I lived in
North Carolina.

This argument was supported with the second observation about lunch. For
more than ½ of our lunch, the conversation revolved around varmints (or
rascals) and how they are eliminated. Possums and ‘coons are considered
varmints and not subject to any kind of humanitarian treatment. Stories of
varmints living in attics and varmints being displaced into your yard by
housing construction were rampant. The discussion turned to whether a
metal trap was better than a Smith and Wesson trap. Everyone had an
experience trapping some kind of rascal or another, and everyone agreed
the possums and cats are stupid and that you don’t want to mess with
raccoons, especially cornered ones.

What was particularly entertaining to me was how serious parts of the
conversation were. One person, who correctly perceived that I did not
bring my gun to Texas, offered to loan me one of his if I should have a
‘rascal problem.’ The way I see it, I had two outs to this suggestion.
I could argue that a gun might make too much noise in a residential
neighborhood OR that it was that it was just plain dangerous (maybe even
illegal) to be shooting guns in an area with such a dense human
population. I chose option one. He scoffed at me and suggested that he had
some rounds that are quieter than a BB gun when fired from a .22. This is
accomplished by utilizing slow travelling ammo that does not break the
sound barrier. Thus, there is no popping sound when it is fired. He
clearly put a lot of thought into this. I told him I would call him if the
varmints were getting the better of me.

Guns are serious in Texas, and we are in the capital of it – Austin.
Recently, the legislature began debating a new law that would permit the
carrying of concealed weapons into the three places where they are not
currently permitted: church, government offices, and hospitals.
Apparently, some Texans feel the concealed weapon law is too restrictive.
I can see needing a gun in a hospital or a government office, but why you
need one in church is beyond me.

Speaking of church, the tally is up to 12. This is the number of neighbors
who have offered literature on their church to the agnostic Bessers from
California. We are still on the fence. The only shows on TV on Sunday
mornings concern fishing and religion. I’d rather take Dane fishing, I
think.

As was the case with the varmint discussion, Kathy and I have concluded it
is the “shock factor” that motivates many of the discussions with
Texans we have met. One person invited us over for a BBQ. Sure, why not,
we thought? Then he proudly announced that he was serving dove and quail.
This was the shock aspect. In reality, the dove was awesome. He had
marinated it and had wrapped the bite-size pieces in bacon and speared
them with a toothpick. FYI, nature dictates that dove pieces are “bite
size”. Of course, he shot the dove (all 20 of them) while hunting, as he
did the deer that was becoming jerky in his one of 4 smokers in the
backyard.

Everything is bigger in Texas, including the native appetite for BBQ. BBQ
is not just something you do to cook meat. It is a way of life and very
serious business in Texas. Most residents have a smoker rather than a
grill. Kathy and I have gone to at least six BBQ restaurants since
arriving. Of course, we judge BBQ restaurants by four metrics – quality of
meat, quality of sauce, quality of sides/drinks, and atmosphere. If you
ask Kathy, she is also looking for a place that serves meat some way other
than well done. All meat is cooked the entire way through and we cannot
figure out why. Anyway, we are in search of a place where all four are
good and the meat is medium-rare.

But a true Texan cares only about meat. This was demonstrated in shock
experiment #3 of this letter. A buddy of mine that I have not seen in 11
years works at Motorola. He and I graduated from NC State together. He
took me to a place for lunch that is 35 miles away. “Kreitz’s is best
BBQ in Texas,” proclaims the local paper. It is in a town of 400
residents (Lockhart) and has been operating since 1900. As I walked in, I
nearly tripped over the fire for the BBQ. It is on the edge of the
entrance for all to see and be burned by. The BBQ pit is 18’ long, and
the heat enters it from the external fire. I guess this way the meat is
cooked although not directly under the flame. Anyway, there were four
choices of meat – pork chops, sausage, lean brisket, or fatty brisket.
(BTW, this is the only BBQ place to serve pork chops: it is usually pork
roast).

You buy it by the pound. No sauce. No sides. No plate. No fork. You get
meat, on wax paper, with a plastic knife and some white bread. In the next
room, you can get a beverage, cheddar cheese, pickles, avocados and
onions. Then you sit at tables like an elementary school student in a
cafeteria and chow. To its credit, it was fantastic and worth the drive. I
heard from Scott that he went on a Saturday and waited in line one hour!
If you ever go, try to avoid Paul’s three rookie errors: 1) watch out
for the fire, 2) don’t ask for a fork or sauce, and 3) don’t ask if
there is a place to wash your hands!

On the brighter side of things, Austin has a great place for pregnant
women. The Renaissance Women’s Center, which I affectionately refer to
as the Renaissance Waiting Center due to the length of time you have to
wait to see a Doctor. But Kathy is in love with the place. Every aspect is
geared towards women, and this is where she will give birth to our baby
boy (in September). It is only 10 minutes from our house and has free
valet parking for expectant moms.

Austin also has a wonderful grocery store, Central Market. There is no
better place to get groceries. It is laid out like a labyrinth, and you
meander through the aisles from fruits and vegetables to meats to breads
to canned goods to wines to dairy, etc. And everything is fantastic. They
had seven varieties of bananas, they make all their own juices, sushi, and
pastas, sell only their own baked breads, and have all kinds of meats,
cheeses and fruits for you to sample. You can literally eat your way
through the store (Dane does every time we go). We just love the place.
You have to come see it!

There is so much more to discuss, but I will save some topics for the next
letter. Take care, and please call, e-mail, or, better yet, come see us.

Love ya, Paul, Kathy and Dane

The Bessers’s Do Austin.
Chapter 1. The Prequel
Star date 51299.

So it has been only 1 month since a moving truck pulled into our driveway
and hauled our butts to Texas!

I swear it seems like 3 months. Let me check the calendar. Yep, not EVEN
one month! I can’t believe it. I think the heat and humidity slow down
time. That is the only explanation that I can come up with. There is no
way that it could be due to our annoyance that the traffic is actually
worse in Austin than the Bay Area, OR our frustration trying to find good
daycare for the boy, OR the stress of trying to unpack with one hand while
entertaining a needy two-year old with the other! It’s the heat.

It has been a very stressful month. I thought the commute to TX for 3
weeks prior to moving here would be stressful, but it is nothing compared
to actually moving here. But, I am happy to say that we are almost settled
in. We are down to 2 piles – one in the garage and one in the spare
bedroom. Kathy thinks it may be possible to start eliminating the one in
the spare bedroom this weekend. Allow me to translate that statement for
my loving, overachieving wife. The pile in the bedroom will be eliminated
2 days prior to our first house guest arriving. The one in the garage may
be here for some time to come. Most everything else is unpacked and placed
in a temporary and/or permanent spot. We should look around and be happy
about this, but we are both struggling to find happiness for an extended
period of the day. It is tough moving to a new area of the country,
starting a new job, going from a house owner to a house renter, finding
new daycare, finding new restaurants and stores, etc, etc. I think we both
underestimated just how challenging a change like this is.

The most humorous and depressing thing that we have done thus far was to
find daycare for Dane. We came across more UN- places than we ever thought
existed. UN- as in unnuturing, unsafe, unhealthy, uncaring, unorganized,
un-us! One of the places had a menu that featured chicken-fried steak one
day, fried fish sticks the next and hot dog on a stick the 3rd! The fruit
drinks were instant (like Tang) and the vegetables were canned! In
retrospect, it is just too funny! When asked about TV, one home daycare
provider said she limits the amount of TV. “They only watch Barney,
Sesame Street, and Teletubbies in the AM while all the kids arrive, then I
turn it on again at 3:00 as kids begin to leave.” That’s 4 hours of TV
per day, ya idiot! What is funny is that she wanted us to pay her $4 per
hour to have our son watch TV for ½ of his day with her!

We finally found a really nice place, and we are working Dane into it.
Carrie Holland (odd last name, isn’t it?) runs a home-based daycare out
of her house. She has 2 cats, a dog, and a rabbit full time. As of this
AM, though, she had acquired a snake, a fish and some crickets, too. You
can guess that she loves animals, but she really loves all creatures. She
is very good with the kids. We are easing Dane into her care, provided
that I pass the obligatory police background check (did I ever inhale?).
Dane loves the other kids, the animals, and the piano in the garage/play
area.

Speaking of the little boy, he is talking a blue streak these days, many
times in complete sentences. The other night at dinner he said, “I hear
birds singing.” He also said, “What happened to Dane?” over and over
again after he fell and slammed his head into the sidewalk. Recently, as
he was out on his usual bug stomping pass around the patio, he said, “No
stomping da wady-bugs” each time he crushed them beneath his sandals! He
thinks all bugs are ladybugs. Our frequent reminders to not kill the many
bugs are falling on deaf ears. Yesterday he asked us where some other bugs
were (we guessed that he meant “live” ones). Kathy told him, “Why
don’t you check over there for some. Do you see any?” and he responded
(indignantly) with an “I don’t think so!”

Dane gave Kathy the best Mom’s day gift, when, on her day, he sang a
complete verse of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” with us in the car.
He is close to singing “Pop goes the Weasel” while I am close to
sending hate mail to the bastard who wrote it.

Austin as a city is really nice. We live southwest of the city by 5-10
miles. SW is practically in “Bubba” country, so we have to beware of
inbreeding. Fortunately, our neighborhood does not appear to have many
bubbas. It is called “Legend Oaks”, named for the big Live Oaks that
are scattered throughout the neighborhood. They are pretty, and the houses
are OK. Ours is nothing to write home about, but it does have 4 BR and a
big play area for Dane that my mother-in-law insists is a dining/living
room. The only problem is proximity. We chose this area because the house
was big and has a nice neighborhood pool. But we are a little far (20 min)
from the good shopping (NW) and eating (downtown). Plus, we live SW, and I
work East. This would not be a problem in a city that embraced the idea of
having a traffic problem, but Austin is in serious denial. My best route
is to leave by 6:30 AM, hop on a freeway to downtown, and take surface
streets all the way across town, then cut through a neighborhood and onto
a highway. I go home a totally different path, due to traffic patterns! To
work is 25 min, home is 35-40. Oh well. If I leave after 7 AM, the drive
takes 45 min.

We have met quite a few of our neighbors. They are nice. One couple across
the street is really nice, and Kathy has had some “play dates” with
her and her children. She also joined the South Austin Mothers Club, which
is a great way to meet chicks. Yep, Kathy is trying her best to fit in.
It’s tough for her. She is one of a few career-minded moms in Austin.
Most moms are stay-at-home. I think the pressure of fitting in may be
getting the better of her, though: she brought me a Tupperware catalog
tonight! (No lie!) Whew! I tell y’all. She’s a changed woman!

There is a nice park in town – Zilker, and it is only 15 minutes away. It
has a great play area, a miniature train to ride, and a spring-fed
swimming area. It also has athletic fields and botanical gardens and more.
We are still finding more parks and outdoor activities. We have to get as
many outdoor events as we can under our belts before the REAL heat comes.
It is only in the high 80s and low 90s right now. We expect that the air
conditioning will be on for the summer. Summer will add a new dimension to
HOT, I assume. The humidity has been pretty high, too.

We have taken one trip out of Austin so far, and Dane loved it. We went to
a wildlife park near San Antonio (only 1.25 hours away). This is a
drive-through wildlife park. They advertise it as “wildlife,
Texas-style,” and it is cool. The animals are pretty tame and stick
their heads in your car for food. This was OK for the rams, sheep, goats,
gazelles, antelope, addax, oryx, donkey, wildebeest, watusi, giraffe and
deer, even OK for the zebras. But we drew the line on the ostrich, buffalo
and moose. The ostriches tower over your car and have necks that appear to
be able to reach into your trunk through the driver’s window. We were
worried that they would peck us, and they really scared me. I guess I saw
Jurassic Park too many times. The buffalo just plain stank, and had
tongues that were at least 8” long. All in all, it was a great
experience. We also went to the Riverwalk in San Antonio. This was nice,
except for the fact that our son just wanted to run for 3 straight hours.
So one of us had to make sure he did not jump in the river. Kathy and I
were both exhausted by the end of the day. Next trip to San Antonio will
be to go to Sea World – maybe next weekend.

We are planning our first visit back to California later this month. I am
teaching a class at U.C. Berkeley on May 27th and 28th, and Dane and Kathy
will accompany me so that they can visit with friends and family. We will
head up to Sacramento for Memorial Day weekend. We return on June 1.

There is so much more to discuss, but I will save some topics for the next
letter. Take care, and please call, e-mail, or, better yet, come see us.
We have a spare room and need a reason to make it presentable!

Paul, Kathy and Dane